“… it is my judging them that makes the difference between them being just atoms or just people.”

As far as we can tell, at the present level of our understanding, everything is made up of atoms which are particles or waves of light. These atoms are subdivided into, at least 60 subatomic particles which scientists continue to unravel and understand more each day.

This means I am made up of atoms, and so also, comprised of particles or waves of light. This also indicates everyone else in my world including family, colleagues, neighbours, friends, and even enemies, are also composed of particles or waves of light.

This also suggests these people are particles or waves of light, whether they are in my presence or not. So, if they are in another city, they are still composed of particles and waves of light.

So, they are just atoms until I over-value them by infatuating them. And, conversely, they are, also just atoms, until I under-value them by resenting them.

So, it is my judging them that makes the difference between them being just atoms or just people. So, if I decided not to judge them, they would just be particles or waves of light.

“… what if we did both or neither?

However, I need to judge them to ensure my survival and well being. It is a biological imperative that runs my mind. Since they are doing the same thing when they view me, this means we need each other to optimize our survival both as individuals and as a species.

This seems to work quite well, since we are one of the most successful species on the planet. Our current primary challenge as a species is our sheer numbers.

What I wonder about is this…rather than over-valuing or under-valuing others which creates infatuations or resentments, what if we did both… or neither? What would that be like? Could that strategy serve us?

If we over-value a person we create an illusion of heroes which exaggerates them and minimizes us…which demeans us. If we under-value them, we create an illusion of villains which exaggerates us and minimizes them.…which inflates us.

Since, anyone is capable of any behaviour, we are each capable of being seen as either a hero or a villain. It just depends on the viewer and what they value at that moment in time and place.

“… if there is mutual respect of the other’s values, the relationship will work.”

How could it serve us to be able to see both the hero and the villain, simultaneously?
If we saw both simultaneously, would there be less fear, would it be safer and would it be smarter?

Using both would be more truthful, since we are all capable of both. But, that would also mean we won’t expect others to value what we value. Instead, they would value what reflects their past experiences, not ours. And, that would be OK with us, as long as, they respected what we value, based on our past. Seems like a fair trade, eh?

But, that would mean there are no good people or bad people…just people with different values than ours. And, if there is mutual respect of the other’s values, the relationship will work. We may have to negotiate and clarify the details regularly, but, if each of us sees the other as like us, instead of, unlike us, we can work it out.

This is the foundation of successful couple counselling and employs the same scientific principles as used in your cellphones.

Does this make sense to you? Let me know your thoughts.