Do You Want to Beat Bipolar?
“I’m not the kind of person who likes to shout out my personal issues from the rooftops, but with my bipolar becoming public, I hope fellow sufferers will know it’s completely controllable. I hope I can help remove any stigma attached to it, and that those who don’t have it under control will seek help with all that is available to treat it.” – Catherine Zeta-Jones, actress
David’s mother called me for an appointment. She was very worried about her son who had been labelled bipolar several years ago. He was 24 years old now and his medications were still not helping. She was both frustrated and disillusioned. In his manic states, he was verbally abusive to both her and his father. In his depressive states, he moped around for days, feeling ill-used and sorry for himself. He was interested in something besides the medications, so he agreed to see me.
David was an articulate, quick witted, young man working part time in a box store while he attended a business administration program at a local college. He shared his mother’s frustration about his medications. But for him, what bothered him more was how a feeling of what he called, “dread and doom”, would overwhelm him at certain times.
“What do you mean by ‘create it’…I didn’t create it!”
I asked him to remember in detail the last time it occurred…where and when?
He said he was in his room just recently when it happened.
I said, “David, what were you doing and thinking at that very moment to create this feeling of ‘dread and doom’?”
“What do you mean by ‘create it’…I didn’t create it!”
“Of course you did David! We all do it! We create each feeling we have by what we doing and think at that very moment. It’s a natural human process to motivate us forward into the future!”
“I don’t believe that at all, Ken!” he replied with testiness in his voice.
“Probably scared…I don’t like public speaking!”
“David, you will have to get in line because there are a lot of people who don’t believe they create their feelings. So, lets test it. If your physician told you today you had terminal cancer, how would you feel?”
“Probably discouraged and depressed!”
“And David, if you got a call today, congratulating you for winning a million dollar lottery…how would you feel then?”
“Probably excited and lucky!”
“And if you doctor called to say they have found a successful treatment for your type of terminal cancer…how would you feel?”
“I suppose…relieved!”
“And, if the lottery company said, to claim your winnings, you had to be part of their marketing campaign and give public speeches for six months…how would you feel, David?”
“Probably scared…I don’t like public speaking!” he replied.
“But David, what if you liked public speaking, had done a lot of it, were good at it…it was high on your value list of fun things to do?”
“Then, I guess I would probably feel honoured for the opportunity.” he said.
“Not just your thinking, David…also your doing!”
“So, how you think about public speaking, based on your values, which comes from your life experiences, will determine what feeling you create…can you see that David?” I asked.
“Yea…kind of..!” he said hesitantly. Then he added, “You suggesting whatever I was doing and thinking at that moment created the ‘dread and doom’ feeling and if I change what I’m thinking at that moment my feeling will change too, correct?”
“Not just your thinking, David…also your doing! You need to take control of both doing and thinking to create a new feeling…this new feeling motivates us to move forward! What were you thinking as you created the ‘dread and doom’ feeling?”
“Ken, that time I mentioned…it was about my career and future! I was thinking, I’m in the wrong program and I don’t like attending school…it’s like I’m wasting my time. I kept saying to myself I should be taking the accounting program.”
Bipolar disorder, manic depression, depression, black dog, whatever you want to call it, is inherent in our society. It’s a product of stress and in my case over-work. – Adam Ant, musician
“I do feel better…the ‘gloom and doom’ actually disappear,…”
“So your values are telling you to take accounting but you are in business administration. So, lets explore how some new thinking might impact your feeling at that moment. If, you decided to remind yourself:… that now you know it’s not business administration, but accounting you want to study; and, you remind yourself, whatever business administration you have taken so far will probably be useful in accounting; and, you remind yourself, that now you have a much clearer idea of your future career which will enable you to be more motivated to work at it …and so, be more successful at accounting…does this new thinking change how you feel at that moment, David?”
“When I think about those perspectives, I do feel better…the ‘gloom and doom’ actually disappear, Ken!”
“…all humans experience mood swings.”
“David, when you take a more balanced perspective on your situation, you notice it wasn’t a mistake to create a feeling of ‘dread and doom’ because it is motivating you to pursue the career you desire in accounting based on your highest values. So, now the feeling isn’t only bad, the ‘dread and doom’ feeling is bad and good at the same time. Learning and using that duality principle is the key to getting past both depressing and elating…that bipolar label.”
“Ken, are you saying if I start using this dualistic thinking I won’t be experiencing these mood swings?”
“David, all human’s experience mood swings. The only difference is how long they stay there. Some get stuck depressing or elating for too long and so pick up a belief they can’t get out of it. They don’t know about this duality law which governs human learning. They don’t know the one question that leads them to the duality law!”
“…you used that painful feeling to motivate you forward…”
“What is that question, Ken?”
“David, the question is , ‘WHAT IS THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS SITUATION?’ …or, what am I not noticing that is equally important to me? If I only see the pain, where is the counterbalancing pleasure? If I only see the good part, where is the equilibrating, bad part?”
I added, “I’m suggesting you and I use this question to check every memory you have of ‘dread and doom.’ I’m certain you’ll find, you used that painful feeling to motivate you forward in some other important way in your life. But David, remember, it is OK to be skeptical, it accelerates your learning. Do you want to do that?”
“I sure do, Ken!” David replied with a half smile.
“Bipolar is a belief one can, and should, have only positive, pleasurable actions, thoughts and feelings. This is a delusion propagated by people who do not understand nature or its sciences!” – King Ayles, author
Until Next time…
Remember the next Breakthrough Experience™ Seminar on December 6 & 7, 2014 at our offices. Details are available Here
Send us your feedback and topic suggestions…we love to hear from you! If you have a specific question, feel free to contact me.
Namaste, (I salute the grandly organized design of the universe, manifested in you!)
Ken
Further information: www.kenpiercepsychologist.com
Tag:bi-polar, label, learning, MENTAL ILLNESS, mental-health
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2 Comments
This is a very simple version of bipolar disorder relying on just moods. eg. Happy, sad, foreboding etc. Bipolar is unfortunately far more than that. I have been bipolar since I was a small child, my sister who was brought up differently than me also has it as does one of my brothers and it varies according to how autistic he is at the time, my daughter also looks like she has had it from youth and my son is on the autistic spectrum (very high functioning). It is a genetic disorder and is therefore a natural part of being. However the overwhelming tiredness that go with a low can precede the low and have nothing to do with something you may have done! further more, not that I want to trample on anyones parade but I made it to 51, strangely enough and it changes form with time, gender, triggers as well of course + genes. I have been a part of many tests including the hunt for the genes which make up bipolar disorder and they are now finding that it is very complex and individual. Many people think they have bipolar but in actual fact are just hormonal or moody! Bipolar is not just moods. Psychosis, absences, hyperactivity and almost narcoleptic sleep is part of it. In my case not part of hormones, actions or thoughts much of the time although stress can trigger it to be far worse. It has a cycle which mine has followed all my life, mine was always approx 7 weeks hi 1-2 weeks low with a gradient I am now mixed mood. It is normal for many people to be ‘different’ from each other in an evolutionary way. However we are all individual and labelling bipolar people as making things happen themselves is distructive, pointless and a little desperate to be honest. It is destructive to people like me because we have struggled all our lives not knowing how to be in society, in my case I have always had to lead two lives, one real and the other a facade. It is pointless because it only helps some people who are a bit ‘moody’ and think they are bipolar or who have it mildly, it may stop them being negative which many of us are not when we are manic anyhow, I am not when I am low these days, I am just dead on my bed! It is desperate because it is very naive to think that all people are the same in their brain or genetic makeup. I will concede that triggers play a part, however you have to be genetically like this in the first place to be triggered and one must not forget that bipolar disorder is linked and a part of the autistic spectrum. I have never accepted meds for mine as I have some immunology problems too and really why the hell should I have to fit in with other humans who think they are perfect just because they are not different like me? I have an intellect beyond a normal persons range. I can write poetry at the speed of light and I can see your feelings before you know you are going to have them! We have amazing abilities. We should embrace them when we are not asleep.. 🙂
Hi Foxana,
Thank you for your insightful analysis. It shows me you have thought al to about this for a long time. Clearly your life experiences have left you with some very specific perceptions about bipolar. I can only offer you some new experiences, other ideas to consider. For example:
(1) Everyone displays many of the ‘bipolar’ behaviours of depressing and elating.
(2) It is usually when the amount of time involved gets too long, that someone with the best of intentions, will offer help. We can, and often do, depress ourselves for a little while about something challenging our values in our life. But if it last beyond a certain time frame (let’s say 15 minutes, as an example) someone close by will offer support. So, for example, if I depress myself over my morning coffee, in my cubicle at work, because I lost a job opportunity; no one may even notice. But if I depress myself for a half hour over it, a colleague may notice and try to intervene to help. If I continue to depress for an hour, the two people on either side may try to intervene. If I do it for the morning, my supervisor may try to help. If I do it all day, my family may be contact. If I do it all week, my doctor may be contact. If I do it for two weeks I may get hospitalized and medicated.
(3) The human body is wired for its survival, so is not likely to be genetically programmed in any way that endangers its future. In the same way, the human body doesn’t crave a drug, but the human mind can learn to. There is an excess of catacolmines in the synaptic path ways during depressing behaviours reflecting our actions and thought, but they soon change when we change what we do and think. It is really hard to feel depressed when you are running vigorously. Since the body is one system when we take control of what we do and think, it changes our brain chemistry immediately. If I raise my hands over my head right now,it starts changing my brain chemistry. If I crawl into my bed, get in a fetal position under the blankets, in the dark and think I am worthless, then I create a brain chemistry to match.
(4) Why we use the term “Autism Spectrum” is because there are a number of behaviours people display which we don’t understand and look for medications to alleviate. Autism is one, schizophrenia is another! In fact “autism” , 25 years ago, used to be called “childhood schizophrenia.” I remember studying the latest research on schizophrenia with a team of 10 other people and we concluded it was a term used for any behaviour that didn’t fit in any other category. It has become a collection of behaviours which didn’t fit anywhere else. Some say the term “autism” was evolved to generate more research funds to find treatments.
(5) The fact you deal with your diagnosis without meds and have adjusted your life accordingly suggests, these ideas have probably already occurred to you.
(6) A suggestion to consider- make a list of the 100 benefits which come to you from your diagnosis in the past, now and in the future. Consider each of the seven areas of your life: spirit, mind, work, finances, social, family and health.
(7) My last thought may be perhaps the most challenging:What if, you couldn’t be who you are today, doing what you do today and having what you have today, without that diagnosis. This is not to deny the pain you have experiences, it is to appreciate the equal number of benefits that have also come to you.
I would love to have your thoughts on these ideas, not your arguments, but rather your insights. If you would like to learn more, feel free to contact me. Be well.
Ken