How do you define yourself to yourself?

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”
– Sharon Salzberg, writer

“… our most important perception in life is the one we carry about our own self.”

When asked to introduce myself, I have been known to say I am ‘a recovering psychologist’…referring to my recovery from my illusions about myself and my life.

And, I remember past clients referring to themselves as ‘a fat woman’; ‘a successful businessman’; or ‘a winner’ or ‘a loser.’   I remember a five year old who said he was ‘stupid’ and another who nodded ‘yes’ with certainty, when asked if she was a ‘genius.’

It has been said by lots of wise people that our most important perception in life is the one we carry about our own self.  No other perception, no other belief has so much impact on our life.

“Where is this belief hiding?”

One of the best parts of hanging around preschoolers has always been their innate, refreshing belief that they can be anything, do anything or have anything they want.  They come hardwired with this attitude. So, for the rest of us, where did this belief go? Where is this belief hiding?

It’s been my experience uncovering that innate belief, that each one of us carries inside, is the real job of every professional helper regardless of their title.   Perhaps it’s the job of every human being in every one of their relationships, whether family, friend, colleague or neighbour.

So, it was very refreshing when I came across Katlego Kolanyane-Kesupile TedTalk entitled, “How I’m bringing queer pride to my rural village.”   Watch and listen to “Kat” as she demonstrates beautifully how important it is to take conscious control of how we define ourselves. Because if we don’t, we risk letting someone else do it for us.

Let me know what you think of Kat’s talk.

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”  – Mark Twain, author