Our body’s weight reflects our mind’s level of awareness!
“Obesity affects every aspect of a people’s lives, from health to relationships.”
– Jane Velez-Mitchell, journalist
“… everyone has the weight which reflects their level of awareness…!”
Very pissed off, Wendy came directly from her family doctor’s office. Dr. Minerva had told her bluntly, “get control of your weight or your will die much sooner than you expect.”
To be fair, Wendy was a 40 year old, tall woman, pushing five foot eleven inches. But, she tipped the scales at 330 pounds. She was short of breath just expressing her frustration to me about her physician’s latest comments.
When I asked Wendy why she was ‘picking on me’ for assistance, she said a friend told her I said, ‘everyone has the weight which reflects their level of awareness…so it is perfect for them.” or something to that effect. Apparently, this idea intrigued her. So, she had booked a consult even before her doctor’s latest lecture on her health. So, here she was!
“Walter preferred minimal while Wendy strived for maximal.”
Wendy was married to Walter who also had a weight challenge of his own. They had two children, a severely asthmatic son named, Wade, aged 12 and an older daughter, Whitney, age 16.
Wendy worked for her church as it’s custodian. She was responsible for everything from janitorial services to counting the weekly collections. She was deeply religious and took great solace from her church community.
Walter, on the other hand, was her counterbalance. He did not object to her religious beliefs or employment, for that matter, but took no part in them. A primary source of conflict in their relationship was how much exposure Wendy gave their children to her form of spirituality. Walter preferred minimal while Wendy strived for maximal.
“But, you apparently don’t for yourself…is that true?”
Wendy perceived she was a very aware person. So, the idea that awareness and health, or specifically weight control, were connected caught her attention. So, her first question to me, after we had got acquainted was,
“Ken, how can one’s level of awareness and one’s health be linked, especially in relation to body weight?”
“Wendy, as a Mom, you have been nurturing your children each day since they were born, and probably even during your pregnancies…is that not true?”
“Yes, I have always placed great value on ensuring my kids eat properly. In fact, beyond Wade’s asthma, my kids are really quite healthy.”
“So, you already know and follow good nutrition practices for them. But, you apparently don’t for yourself…is that true?”
She paused thoughtfully for a moment before answering,
“That is inconsistent, isn’t it?”
“The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time.” – Stephen Furst, actor
“… I can assist you if you’re willing to learn.”
“And, you probably already know, kids don’t usually do what we say, they do what we do! So, my best guess is, you worry, and beat yourself up, about being a poor model for your children in this area. Is that true, Wendy?”
She paused again, looking away for a few seconds, before saying,
“It’s what I’m forever talking to my pastor about. And, he tells me, ‘not to worry, god will provide me with an answer.’ I guess that’s what brought me here.”
“Well, I can assist you if you’re willing to learn. Are you ready to do that Wendy…to learn. And, if you’ll permit me, I can frame it within some of your beliefs as well.”
“That would be really nice…maybe then I could raise my awareness faster, perhaps?” she said offering a hint of her openness to learn.
“Would you entertain this idea while we talk about it in relation to your health…?”
“Wendy, tell me how you envision your God?”
“Well, our church is kind of an offshoot of a couple others, but our beliefs are not that different. I envision my God as a powerful and benevolent being who created everything around us, everything in our natural world, including me.”
“OK! Now, most religious belief systems personify their god with human traits, what if we view god as representing the grand, organized design of this system of process we call our world. What if we give our devotion to this natural system of which we are a part? Would you entertain this idea while we talk about it in relation to your health, Wendy?”
Cautiously, and with deep reservation implicit in her face and voice, she agreed.
“One of the most basic laws of this natural system is of energy conservation…that is, we can’t create or destroy anything, only transform it from one form of energy to another.”
I offered to get started.
“My reason and inspiration to lose weight and stay fit is my youngest son, Anant, who is fighting obesity. I would like to be an example for him.”
– Nita Ambani, businesswoman
“… those kinds of things are not consciously connected to your highest values.”
“What does that really mean for me, Ken, …in my situation?” she asked, genuinely bewildered.
“What it really means is no one can lose or gain weight, they can only transform existing mass into energy or existing energy into mass.” I replied.
“Which means…what exactly?”
“It means you can only transform your mass into another form of energy. So, for example, if you decided to walk three miles a day for a year, every day instead of eating breakfast, you would transform your mass accordingly. And, I bet you know that already…is that not true?”
“Sure…I do! But, why don’t I do that! I’ve tried stuff like that many times. But eventually I give up or get side tracked. How come?”
“Because doing those kinds of things are not consciously connected to your highest values. If they were connected consciously to your highest values, it would be easier, but not easy, to do them because you would clearly see how they honour you and your highest values.”
“This might be the first generation where kids are dying at a younger age than their parents and it’s related primarily to the obesity problem.” – Judy Davis, actress
“… her safety, her family, her faith and her health.”
“But, Ken, I know my highest values! They are respecting the commandments and taking care of my family and getting to heaven!” she said, proudly.
“Wendy, I suspect they are even more detailed than that. And, if you knew them in more detail, it would help you honour yourself and your life!”
“How do you mean, Ken?”
“We demonstrate our top values in how we spend our time, our energy and our money. Also, in what we’re organized or self disciplined about. And, in what we talk to others about, talk to ourselves about and especially, what are our special dreams.”
“That does sound more detailed. How can I find those details?”
“Let’s do it right now,Wendy!”
“OK!”
We completed the Demartini Values Determination Process and Wendy discovered her top four values were her safety, her family, her faith and her health. She was not surprised by these four value, but was taken aback by their order of importance.
“… you will find it easier, but not easy, to transform your weight…”
After we had discussed the results for a while, she said,
“I didn’t realize how important feeling safe is for me. And Ken, one of my safest places is my church…maybe that’s why I like working there, eh?”
“That makes perfect sense to me, Wendy! Have you connected yet how transforming your weight, under your physicians guidance, could also make you feel safer regarding, not just your physical health, but also your mental health, your value of yourself, your ability to care for your family, and you closeness to your God?”
She looked a little surprised by my comment…even taken back a bit.
“Are we talking about my awareness level now?”
“Exactly! If the why is big enough…the how will appear! If you create an awareness in your highest values of why you should walk three miles a day and skip breakfast, you will find it easier, but not easy, to transform your weight and your life, Wendy!”
“It sounds so simple, when you say it that way!” she said, her voice full of discouragement.
“We allow things to be sold that should not be called food…have no nutritive value and lead to obesity, salt imbalance, and allergies.” – David Suzuki, scientist
“… if I connect my personal health…directly…to my highest values…I will be able to transform…”
“The law is simple, but the implementation is usually hard. If it was simple, everyone would do it, and then, 2/3 of the human population today would not be struggling with their weight. So, expect anything important to be challenging.”
Wendy replied, getting the idea,
“That sounds like the comment I heard during the Olympics about the gold going to the one who did the most work.”
“You’ve got it, Wendy! That’s the natural law, ‘energy in equals energy out!’”
“So, you’re saying, if I connect my personal health, my control of my weight, directly in my mind to my highest values of: my safety, my faith, my family and my health, then I will be able to transform myself!”
“As you say that Wendy…can you hear in your own words and voice a new level of awareness? I think you have already begun!” I said, smiling at her.
She burst out laughing at herself, at her own new awareness. Then, she grew serious again saying,
“It feels different now…I feel stronger somehow…more powerful…more in control now that I see options…! I think I am going to need some help to stay on track! Will you assist me, Ken?”
“My privilege, Wendy!”
““The root of obesity…is usually emotional. The poor habits are a symptom of a deeper emotional issue.” – Jillian Michaels, athlete