Retirement doesn’t exist in the natural world…it’s called death!

“Well, I didn’t grow up with that word ‘retirement’ as part of my consciousness. I didn’t grow up with professionals that retired. I thought retiring was when you are tired and go to bed.” – Ruby Dee, actress

 

“I thought I’d be happy in my retirement.”

Renata was 54 years of age.  She had worked for the same large multinational company since finishing high school.  Her company had supported her through years of night school at the local university to complete her professional credentials as a chartered accountant.  Now, over 32 years later, she was retired in good health and on a full and generous pension.

Renata was a dark haired woman of average height. To my mind, she had the look of an accountant, in that, she had her reading glasses strung around her neck, at the ready.  As well, she was conservatively dressed with high quality clothes of subdued colours including tans and soft greens. Her sensible shoes matched the rest of her restrained apparel…low heels, leather and the somber brown of a late November day.

Renata had spent the last two years since leaving her job travelling the world with her second husband, Ramon.  They had also fixed up their house, adding new siding and a second bathroom, she said, they probably didn’t really need.  Now, she was using Netflix to catch up on all the movies she had missed during her work career. And, she frequented the local library and the Amazon website for all the books she was determined to finally read.

After sharing all this, she paused and added, as a final thought,

“Ken, I thought I’d be happy in my retirement.  I thought I’b be excited about each day that I didn’t have to go to work.  And, I even thought I be stress free and healthier. But, it’s just not happening…at least, not yet?” she said, a hint of hopefulness in her voice.

 

“… you follow the same laws in your mind as in your body!”

“Renata, it sounds like you may be carrying some misinformation about the physics and  biology of your body.”

“Why is a psychologist, a counsellor, talking about physics and biology?  Shouldn’t we be discussing my mind mostly…psychology?”

“Since every branch of science is studying some small part of our natural world, all science is actually interrelated.  As a living organicism, you follow the same natural laws psychologically, as you do, physically, you follow the same laws in your mind as in your body!”

“Are you suggesting physics, biology, chemistry, geology, astronomy, and cosmology are interconnected, and related to my mind and my body both?”

“Indeed they are, Renata.  Let me ask you a question that might help clarify.  Did you ever come across any other living organism that stops acting purposeful, it just sits back and eats, sleeps and rests…just vegetates?”

She gave me a strange and curious look.

I continued,

“What I’m asking you is whether you have ever noticed any other living thing that actually …retires?”

“I read somewhere they retire race horses and those greyhound racing dogs, don’t they?”

“Yes, I read that too!   But, do you think the animals know they’re retired?”

“No, I suppose they don’t, do they?” she said, putting an animal’s level of consciousness in place in her thought.

 

“The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.” – Abe Lemons, coach

 

 

“…the idea of ‘retirement’ as a human invention, not a biological or psychological law.”

“Let’s look at the interconnectedness of all the sciences from another perspective.  As far as I have been able to determine, every science shares at least one thing which connects them all.”

“What would that be, Ken?”

“They all share a common language…the language of mathematics.  Every science uses different mathematics to study the natural laws of that specific science.   Can you see that, Renata?”

“Yes, I suppose that’s true.” she said with hesitation.

“So, Renata, if the sciences are all connected and no other living organism retires from its work, what I am asking you to consider is the idea of ‘retirement’ as a human invention, not a biological or psychological law.” I suggested.

“Why would we invent the idea of retirement?” she asked.

“Perhaps because, some people believe in punishment and reward…that they should be rewarded for their years of painful work with years of pleasurable non-work or what we now call retirement.”

“Why is that such a bad idea, Ken?” she asked, genuinely intrigued.

 

“… the pleasure and pain must be equal and counterbalance each other.”

“Renata, is is not a bad idea!  But, it’s not a good idea, either!   It is actually both! To view it, as one or the other, is an illusion we use to learn how nature operates in our life.”

“So, Ken, what does this all have to do with me not being happy in my retirement?”

“What if being happy, of experiencing pleasure without pain, is also a human invention, Renata?”

She looked a little startled but then came back with an insightful question.

“That would mean you suggesting in every pleasure there must be a pain…is that what you mean?”

“And, according to the laws of nature, the pleasure and pain must be equal and counterbalance each other.  Can you thing of any exception?”

“Sure can, Ken!”  she said, with certainty, excited to be able to challenge this bizarre idea.

She continued,

“At the second of a human’s orgasm, isn’t that pleasure without equal pain?”

“If you think about it carefully and truthfully, the pain is usually that the pleasure is over at that second, often accompanied by the desire for more.”

 

“I need to retire from retirement.” –  Sandra Day O’Connor, judge

 

 

“… I’ve never been off my purpose, but I’ve been unconscious of it.”

She thought for a moment and then said,

“So, when pleasure ends, we perceive pain…and when pain ends we perceive pleasure…like in child birth, for example.”

“I think now you’re getting the idea of this natural law, Renata.”

“So, that would mean, I shouldn’t expect to be happily retired, right?  Then, what should I expect, Ken?”

“I think you can expect life to be very similar to when you were working at your old job but perhaps will more freedom to structure it.  But, that pleasure of freedom comes with a cost that is equally painful.”

“What do you mean?” she said, confused.

“Every person has a purpose in being on this planet, just like everything else on this planet.  You cannot be off your purpose. You have been on it your entire life. But, as a human being with the ability to think about thinking, you can be conscious of your purpose, unlike any other organism…at least, as far as, we can tell, so far.”

“So, I’ve never been off my purpose, but I’ve been unconscious of it.  But now, I can be conscious of it…if I want. Is that the gist of what you just said, Ken?”

“It is!  When you are conscious of your purpose, you can take that awareness with you as your life evolves…like, for example, into the retirement phase of your life.  Do you understand?” I asked to make sure she was still with me.

“You’re saying even though I’m retired from my old job, I can still be purposeful while I’m retiring?” she asked, her voice going up a notch.

“You sure can!  And, while you won’t be happy, you can be grateful!  Your brain is wired to always find both sides of a situation..which creates this gratefulness.  Would that interest you, Renata?”

 

“… Grateful people…focus on both…not ignoring either…this is the wisdom part…”

“What do you mean by grateful?” she asked.

“Grateful people appreciate both the pleasure and the pain of their lives.  Grateful people know, and expect, there will always be equal amounts of both, at all times.  That’s why we often call them, ‘wise.’” I suggested to her.

“So grateful people aren’t happy in their retirement…they’re grateful!   But, how is that different from happy…they seem similar to me.” the confusion in her mind mirrored in her voice.

“There is actually a big difference.  Happy people seek more, or all, pleasure.  So, because of the natural law of duality, they are often confused and upset by their life.”

“That sounds like the lady I met the other day at my doctor’s office.  She was complaining her migraine medication wasn’t working. But, she wasn’t noticing her med wasn’t for something more serious, like cancer.”

“That’s a great example, Renata.  Grateful people, expect pleasure and pain in equilibrium, it is the way your mind works.  And, so they focus on both…not ignoring either…this is the wisdom part I mentioned earlier.”

“So, you’re saying, if I was conscious of my purpose, and looked for both the pleasure and the pain of my life, I would experience more gratitude in my retirement.  Is that it, Ken?”

“Renata, that’s it exactly!   Do you want to test it out right now?”

“I sure do!”

 

“… but I was going to miss some of my colleagues especially…”

“Go to your most pleasurable moment so far in your retirement.  When was it? Where was it? Who was there besides you?”

“That’s easy to answer!   It was when I received my retirement gift from our company CEO.  He came from Toronto just for my retirement party. My family, friends and close colleagues were all there.  I felt really special at that moment.”

“Now, remember back to that specific moment.  Recall what you were thinking about besides the people around you who were congratulating you.  At that moment, what was the painful part?” I asked her.

Renata closed her eyes for a few moments recalling that special day of her retirement gathering.  Then, she opened her eyes, saying,

“I remember thinking, I’m going to see my family and friends again, but I was going to miss some of my colleagues especially Blair, Vanessa and Tracy.  We four had worked closely together for years.”

“So, at that moment, can you see the pleasure and the pain both, Renata?”

“Yes, I can.  You know Ken, I haven’t spoken to them since that day at my party…and, at times, I still miss them.”

 

“…this will enable me to be grateful for that moment of the trip and …my life…”

“So, looking back to your retirement party, can you see both the pleasure and the pain balancing each other out, so you can experience appreciation for the job you had, the people you worked for and the people you worked with…they are all part of same event at the same moment.”

“Yes, I’m starting to get this idea.  So, if I start applying it to our August trip to Ecuador, then I will be expecting both the good and bad, simultaneously.  And, this will enable me to be grateful for that moment of the trip and for that moment of my life…is that the idea of wisdom, Ken?”

“You got it now, Renata!  Congratulations!

“And, can you help me uncover my life purpose…I will need to know that now so I can use it in my retirement planning, right?”

“Yes and Yes!   Let’s uncover that right now!”

“Great!” Renata said smiling.

 

“I see retirement as just another of these reinventions, another chance to do new things and be a new version of myself.” –  Walt Mossberg, journalist